


For All These Things That Never Were

by eternalbreath



Series: Weedyverse [3]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Alternate Reality, Gen, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-31
Updated: 2008-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-09 02:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalbreath/pseuds/eternalbreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lie: a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For All These Things That Never Were

Seifer's head hurt like a bitch.

He opened his eyes to a canopy of leaves, blue peeking through as the branches waved in the breeze. He watched them sway, the green blurring across his vision. He was so tired of ending up on his back. Fucking Timber Owls. He turned his head to the side.

Squall and Rinoa were down for the count, sleeping across the makeshift campground. Rinoa slept pretty and innocent, but the pounding behind Seifer's right eye reminded him that she was trying to ruin his life all over again. He sat up and immediately regretted it when he pitched to the side. Bile rose in his throat and he barely choked it back. He swallowed through the burn.

"Hey, whoa!"

Zell. Perfect. Seifer concentrated on watching the ants marching along his line of vision. Breathing techniques, air, no panicking--and it was all bullshit. How much fucking magic had they _used_on him?

"You should take it easy." Zell's sneakers appeared in front of him. "Squall and Rinoa threw a shitload of Cura at you."

That would explain some things. Seifer gave up and laid back down — carefully. "How long have I been out?"

Zell shrugged. "All night. You were pretty loopy there for a while. Man, you cracked your fucking skull somehow. We had to carry you off the train and were scared we'd kill you."

"My lucky day."

"Ungrateful bitch. Look at _them_, they're exhausted. You got to sleep through everything."

Seifer rubbed his head and eyed Zell's unmarked face and the way his hair drooped into his eyes, weighed down by the humidity. "I can see why, since you're back to looking as annoying as ever. Too bad there's no hair gel in the forest."

"Fuck you," Zell said. He stared at Rinoa as she shifted on the grass. "I guess all the casting must have been a bigger drain than they thought."

Seifer sat up— slowly this time — and snorted. "Casting a drain? Who the hell knows what else Squall was doing before he caught up with us. The fucker."

Zell flushed. "Hey! Where do you get off—"

Seifer didn't have the patience. His thoughts were a mess, but he wanted to pin the whole fucking failure on Squall and Rinoa and their secret side missions. He kept flashing back to Rinoa on the train platform, standing stock-still and stupid, staring at the sky. "Forget it. Where the hell are we?"

"In the woods a few miles away from Galbadia Garden. We figured taking time out to clean up would be better since news from Timber is probably going to be everywhere by now." Zell crouched down, cracked a fallen limb with his heel. "I guess I have some bad news." He handed Seifer a red and white canteen with the train line's name streaked across it in bold red.

Terrorists and now thieves, too. His first mission had been such a success. "Well, spit it out." Seifer threw back what was left of the water: lukewarm and metallic.

Zell picked at the ground. "Rinoa kind of replaced you as team captain."

He should have felt something instead of relief. "She's just pissed I left you behind."

Zell didn't meet his gaze. "Well, she's the boss. She put—"

"Please, don't act like I don't know who she put in charge." Seifer tossed the canteen on the ground beside Zell's foot. "As if she'd choose you."

"Hey! She could have."

"You almost got yourself killed twice. That doesn't lend itself to much credibility." He waved away Zell's protests. "Are you going to wake them up so we can go?" His jacket had been his pillow, the assholes. He stood as slowly as possible so he could shake it out. It fell and the edge dragged the ground as he stared at the bloodstains peppered across the fabric.

"Um."

Seifer closed his eyes. "Not an answer."

Zell scratched patterns into the dirt with a stick when Seifer looked back. Across the way, Squall turned over fast, rolling over a patch of weeds. Seifer hoped it was poison.

"They won't wake up."

"That's impossible."

Zell glared at him and surprised the hell out of him by standing up and walking over to Squall to kick him in the leg. Seifer winced, but Squall didn't move at all.

"Most people would wake up for shit like that. I dumped water in their faces once and that's not the first time I've kicked Squall. He'll probably punish me with—with—with _more_ uncomfortable silences or something."

"Should've saved some of the kicking for me. Greedy."

Zell grinned at him, the familiar look he got when he had a good comeback. He didn't use it, just stood there with a smile plastered on his face. "You'd know all about greedy."

He had had enough of riddles. "So how long have they been like that?"

"I don't know, I don't keep up with people's naps. Couple hours."

Great. He was stuck in the woods with an unconscious customer, an unconscious team captain, and—Seifer glanced at Zell again, who had moved off to start cleaning up the place Seifer had been resting. He watched him move, normal, bouncing, annoying and wondered what the hell had happened to him in the alley. Zell's ruined face from the train kept flashing through his mind.

He found his gunblade outside its holster, glinting in the sun that managed to make it through the leaves. He would've been pissed about it being left out, except he saw the chunk out of the middle, a jagged chip that made his breath catch. If he had had anything in his stomach he would've thrown it up.

"Squall did what he could." Zell said. Seifer squeezed his eyes shut before bending down to examine the damage. "He says he doesn't have the tools here, and anyway, he thinks it's too bad to fix."

"Yeah, I got it, thanks for rubbing it in." Hours of custom modding and treatment and tuning lost. He couldn't remember what it might have happened on. Leaving the city was a blur. "Hope we don't need to fight. It's useless without it's edge."

Zell startled him again with a hand on his shoulder, quick but warm. "I'm sorry."

The silence after his words stretched out, and Seifer didn't want to throw the words back—they were for the blade, not him, and Hyperion deserved it.

"NO!"

Seifer whipped around at the scream to see Rinoa scrambling to her feet, tangled in vines. She thrashed so much Seifer missed that Squall was awake too until he pushed himself up on his hand, staring into the forest to the north.

"No, no, no! They can't kill her, they can't!"

Zell had already darted forward to untangle her. "Hey, it's just a nightmare. Calm down, calm down."

"Was it?" Squall stood up, brushing leaves from his hair. "A dream??"

Zell pushed Rinoa back down. "It's been a tough couple of days for her. Nightmares are probably normal. Remember what Kadowaki says."

Rinoa rocked on the ground as Zell shoved another canteen into her hand. "But it was so real. They were going to kill her." She wiped at her eyes.

"Nope. Just a dream!" Zell stepped back. "Besides the nightmares, you guys feel better? You were sleeping kind of...well, you must've been tired."

Squall just nodded and Rinoa didn't reply at all. Zell shrugged.

"Now that the beauty rest is over, maybe we can go." Galbadia Garden was no short hike and Seifer didn't really want to be out on the plains in full dark. It annoyed him Squall didn't do guilt normally. He didn't make eye contact with people as a rule, so it was natural for him to have his eyes fixed to the ground as he dusted his coat off and slipped it on, the gaudy necklace he wore flashing in the light. Seifer looked away when he caught Zell's gaze, darting back and forth between him and Squall like he thought there was something to see.

"I'll just go fill up the canteens at the stream," Zell said; underbrush rustled as he escaped the scene.

"It didn't feel like a dream. I saw her?" Rinoa picked at the grass under her. She wouldn't meet Seifer's gaze, either.

"What's the plan, _Captain_?" It was impossible to ignore. His first mission had failed and he had been demoted by the person who had ruined it. It had been a long time since Seifer had been angry enough to want to plant his fist in Rinoa's face, but he was there now.

"Oh—!" Rinoa's head snapped back and Squall tensed.

_Let them be nervous. They won't get the pleasure of reaction from me._

The silent triangle they formed in the clearing could have stretched on and on, but for the crackle of twigs and brush under Zell's feet as he made his way back, canteen straps draped across his torso. His bounce left when he stepped between them, a tentative movement before he started handing canteens out.

"We should move out." Squall took a drink, looked down the path. "If we hurry, we can reach Garden by sunset."

"Assuming they take us." Seifer wondered how far the news from Timber had spread and how the military would react. At least Donovan had assumed Zell was an Owl, if a persistent one that didn't want to die, instead of SeeD.

"We're SeeD, why wouldn't they?" Zell bent down to pull up a pack; what looked like their only one, a stray piece of gauze leaking out the side.

Seifer was glad he had packed light. All his stuff was probably on fire by now. "We're carrying baggage." He rolled his eyes at Rinoa's look. "As far as Galbadia Garden is concerned, active teams are liabilities. You don't find safe harbor guaranteed out here like you would at Balamb."

"Or Trabia," Zell said, and he stepped back at the expression on Rinoa's face. "I'm not suggesting we look for it, I'm just _saying_ they would help—"

"And how would we find them, genius? Signal fire?" If it wasn't enough that everything had gone to absolute shit, now Zell was suggesting treason. "Even if it was possible, we'd be censured for it by Balamb."

"I was just saying Balamb's not the only one with safe harbor. Goddamnit." Zell cut across their lopsided circle and down the path. He tripped up in a vine going around the bend, and Seifer closed his eyes. Teammates. Stuck together for an amount of time he didn't want to contemplate. Goddamnit was right.

"Besides Galbadia Garden and rogue Gardens, do we have any other options?" Seifer felt like abandoning them all and hoofing it to Deling City, which was the safest place no one had suggested. He would, if he didn't know that Quistis would have his record skewered for abandoning team. Rinoa twisted her sweater in white-knuckled hands, Squall palmed the hilt of his gunblade—Seifer locked his eyes to a position above their waists so he didn't have to see Squall practically mocking him—and he could still hear Zell in the grass beyond the curve of the path, probably punching innocent ferns or animals.

Squall stared at the ceiling of the forest. "None. We should take our chances with Galbadia."

Seifer did his best to ignore Rinoa's pleased look.

\------------

Galbadia Garden was hours away through wide-open plains, even at a fast pace. It pissed Seifer off that fastest they could manage was a crawl. He kept having to stop and sit or risk falling down; he was holding them all up. Rinoa's hands kept tangling in her sweater and Zell boxed off to the side of the group to kill time until Seifer could get back to his feet again.

Seifer decided he would risk fainting just to escape their impatience.

Zell kept shoving canteens at him, pulling them out of the canvas bag he was hauling. Seifer took them and didn't reply as they walked, Hyperion a heavy, dead weight at his side and the whole fucking mission a weight around his neck. He watched as Rinoa and Squall pulled ahead again by feet and then yards, forgetting that Seifer wouldn't be able to keep up—or not caring.

The sun stroked his neck, sticky hot fingers in the dry heat. This part of Galbadia was miserable during the summer, brittle with too much sun and forgotten by the rain. Seifer watched what breeze there was curl the dust from their shoes into the air and carry it away into tiny whirlwinds over browning grass and weeds.

Beside him, Zell arched his face toward the sky as he handed Seifer another canteen of water. "You tried to kill me."

Here it was and no avoiding it. "So?"

The silence was heavy and full of everything Seifer wouldn't say. Rinoa had been worth more to him in that alley. He watched how close she walked to Squall ahead of them—how easily Squall spoke to her and couldn't be anything but pissed at himself for the miscalculation. Bombs and bonding; the way to Squall's heart was through explosives. Now Seifer wondered what the hell Squall had that Rinoa wanted so badly. More tact, maybe.

"I don't hate you."

It took Seifer off guard; he fumbled for words. "The feeling isn't mutual."

Zell waved a hand and said, "We're partners now. It sucks, but it's our job to watch out for each other." He kicked at the ground, obscuring his bright shoes in the sudden puff of dust. "Listen, I don't like it any better than you, but it's just how it is." His face flushed red, but Seifer couldn't tell the cause—the words or the weather. "So I don't hate you. I just think you're an asshole."

"What's your point?" Seifer let his eyes trace the trail left by Squall and Rinoa in the dirt as Zell sidled closer. He looked past the whip of Rinoa's sweater on to the line of trees finally breaking into view, the hulk of Galbadia Garden rising to meet them.

"We gotta agree that we're not going to just use each other as leverage." Zell next to him was like walking on the sun instead of being pressed down by it, the way he was putting off heat. Seifer slipped to the side as Zell continued, "I'm not saying we have to be all friendly, just we should just take—" Kicked the ground again, sending rocks dancing across patchy grass. "No sacrifices. That's not the point of partners."

_Take care of each other_. "Seems like a waste of time to watch your back at the risk of my own."

Zell kicked a rock. "I shouldn't have to ask you not to kill me." He wiped his face with his arm. "I don't want to have to guess on who is gonna kill me first—the bad guys or my own fucking partner."

"You're inept, I can't promise you anything."

Rinoa's laughter floated back to them with the dust in the air on a lackluster breeze that provided no relief at all from the heat. The distance between them and Rinoa and Squall's lead kept whatever they were discussing private.

Zell broke the silence by shoving another canteen at him and said, "We can promise to protect each other the best we can. Man, isn't that the _point_?"

Seifer took the canteen, tipped his neck back and drank. He wasn't sure, but he thought Squall might be laughing. "The point is you're in my face bullshitting about teamwork when you sold me out to Rinoa's illusions of grandeur."

Zell gave him a nasty look and said, "What the fuck do you mean?"

Seifer gestured ahead of him. "Squall. He shouldn't be team lead and you know it. Rinoa only wants him there because she knows she can railroad him with his duty to the contract." He chuckled. By normal Garden rules, Seifer should have never been in charge of the team, either—maybe it would've gone better that way, if Rinoa hadn't done whatever she had to get him the spot. He couldn't remember a time where Rinoa actually listened to him instead of haring off with her own fucked-up plans, leaving Seifer to try to scramble out of the wake of her disasters.

"Is that what you're pissed about?" Zell asked. "Dude, I told her it was a shitty idea and she waved the contract in my face and threatened me! It's not like you were around to back me up to take your place, you were too busy being unconscious."

"So you say, but here we are, being led by Captain Surly and the Princess of Whine—who the fuck cares if she threatened you? You just took it laying down and then come sniffing around my heels wanting me to put my life in your hands? Are you kidding?"

"So her suing Garden would have been totally okay as long as you stayed captain?" Seifer hadn't known Zell knew that tone existed, much less how to use it, like Seifer was some moronic first-day cadet lost in the training center. "I'm not an idiot and the contract said she had complete autonomy in the executive decisions—Squall and I both read it."

Seifer's eyes went immediately to Rinoa's back, her body twisted toward Squall's. Seifer wondered again where the hell she had really sent Squall on the mission, because damn if he had been on the top of the library the entire time. "Garden wouldn't—"

"Garden _did_," Zell said. He yanked the empty canteen out of Seifer's hand. "So excuse me for not wanting to get all of us in trouble just to keep your ego, you know, well-fed or whatever."

Garden giving Rinoa three SeeDs on the pitiful amount of money she had to offer was one thing, but Garden giving Rinoa three SeeDs and the ability to take control of any military situation was another. Seifer knew for a fact that it just wasn't done—they were trained to follow orders of their contractor to a point but were also allowed to use their judgment in dangerous situations that threatened the mission. He had aced the fucking training course over this shit. He knew it like the back of his hand so he couldn't be screwed over. What was Garden _thinking_?

He fumed in silence right up until they were overtaking the outskirts of Galbadia Garden and Zell finally said, "You'll at least think about what I said?"

"What?" He snapped it, too pissed to care that it wasn't Zell who had landed him in this situation.

It surprised him when Zell grabbed his arm and tugged him to a stop, letting Rinoa and Squall continue through the gates to Garden. They didn't even bother to look back. "I'm not fucking with you, dude. You know as well as I do what we're walking into by coming here, we shouldn't be having a stupid fight."

Seifer dragged his free hand over his face and tried to block out all the aches and nausea. "Where's the fight in me telling you I don't trust you?"

Zell hadn't let go. "Between the _smart_ part of your brain and the _conceited asshole_ part. Probably the part that didn't get hugged enough as a kid is throwing a fit now, too."

"Are you _psychoanalyzing_ me?" Seifer dropped his arm and gaped.

"Well, you shouldn't make it so easy." Zell released him. "So here's where I'm at: you tried to leave me for dead, you tried to kill me and leave me for dead _again_, I save your ass from bleeding to death, and maybe punch you a little because you fucking deserve it, and then spend hours—" He swung around and put his back to Seifer. "Look, forget it, I'll—"

"Fine," Seifer said. Zell flipped back around, shocked, and Seifer was pretty shocked himself. "I still don't trust you, but fine. Partners."

He didn't have a choice. Now that he knew Rinoa apparently gave two shits about the people with her over whatever goal she had—and it sure wasn't the reclamation of Timber, the lying bitch—and Garden was effectively sending SeeDs to die in a war zone, trapped between crazy customers and breaking contract and an automatic suspension—he was running out of options.

Zell would work for now. He hoped he was lucky and the stupid kid didn't get him killed.

His acceptance left Zell speechless and still so long, Seifer finally went through the gate without him. He had no clue if Squall would let Rinoa run her mouth about who they were and even if he wasn't leading the mission, he wasn't about to stand around and let her blabber their way to lockup.

He met up with Squall and Rinoa at the entrance which was blocked by two soldiers who stood stock still, shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the path. Seifer stopped by Squall as Zell jogged up besides him. "What's going on?"

Squall shrugged. "Told us to wait."

"For what?"

"For clearance."

Zell rubbed his neck. "That could mean anything. We don't want to sit out here all night."

Zell was right; night was beginning to crawl over them, the sun fading into the west. Seifer didn't like the idea of being kept waiting because Squall couldn't be more assertive. He looked at the guards. "How long is clearance going to take?"

The one on the right—and hell, it didn't even matter because with their headgear on they looked the same—said, "The headmaster is very busy with his guests."

"Totally not an answer, man," Zell said. "Couldn't you just tell him we're SeeD and to hurry up? We've only been walking all day."

Seifer wanted to pin his lips shut, but he couldn't do anything about Zell's disgusting habit of running his trap without the eyes of the military noticing he had a problem with what he was saying. Screw worrying about Rinoa?she had plopped down on the ground before he and Zell had even caught up, head on her knees and eyes and mouth firmly closed.

"When we've validated your captain's identification, the headmaster will be with you." The left guard sounded more bitchy than the other, or maybe it was just dealing with Zell's whining that made him sound like an ass.

Zell kicked the ground. "All this way and we're stuck."

"There's this interesting trait called patience," Seifer said, holding his temper in check. "Do I need to order you to keep your mouth sh—" He stopped at Zell's blink, remembered that he couldn't do it anymore. He turned his back on Zell before he caught a hint of anything but surprise.

The worry about hours and hours of waiting into the night were wiped away a few minutes later when someone approached the guards and whispered in righty's ear. Student, by the look of him, lanky and long-haired who held himself too casual—he was working for it. He looked like an Esthar chocobo rancher by his clothes, tan hides and boots beaten down with work; it wasn't for show and a weird get-up for a cadet.

Lefty nodded to the new guy and he and his partner separated to opposite sides of the path into Garden, which made Squall snort. It pissed Seifer off to be treated like a gatecrasher, but his _captain_ was amused.

The cadet saluted them. "Welcome to Galbadia Garden. Irvine Kinneas, at your service."

"Where's the headmaster?" Zell asked, looping his arms behind his head. "No offense, but you don't look like headmaster material."

Irvine laughed. "Everyone in Galbadia, me especially, thanks the green, green grass that I'm just a humble sharpshoot. Martine is hosting a diplomatic visit—but you have bigger fish to fry. Quistis sent me to fetch you to her."

Zell gaped. "Quistis? She's _here_?"

Irvine lifted a shoulder, but didn't say anything else. He turned and after a few steps, they followed. Seifer didn't know what to make of it, but he was glad of one thing, even if it went against everything. Quistis had the ability to railroad over anyone—Rinoa included—like a behemoth. He had been watching her do it to others and himself for years. If there was any way out of this mess, Quistis would find it.

Once more, they walked. Rinoa linked her arm with Squall's, and Seifer smirked as he and Zell passed by them, but it died on his lips as he realized she was pulling him back to talk. Seifer saw her silence the whole half hour they had stood at the door for what it was now. He had had his license less than two weeks and he was starting to entertain thoughts of what he could do with his two month suspension on the money that had already been tucked away in his account if he told her to go fuck herself and all her grand plans.

Zell nudged him as they headed through the main hall. "It's so different here."

"Stinks like the military," Seifer said as Irvine led them to a flight of stairs. "And a Garden too proud to have an elevator."

Irvine laughed as he climbed. "Oh, we have one, but only administration touches it. Building character is best done by loping up and down stairs every day. I feel like a better person already; anyone else?"

Zell grumbled. "I feel like my legs hurt."

Rinoa's whispers caught up to Seifer as they stepped onto the second-floor, too faint for him to hear any distinct words. The sound was enough for him to squeeze his fists together as tight as he could so he didn't turn around and bash her face in.

The room Irvine led them to looked out over the sunset-streaked fields to the west of Garden, with plush couches that Rinoa and Zell immediately sprawled out on, earning a smile from Irvine. "She's gone and stepped out on us, but she'll be back directly. Good luck." He was gone in seconds and Seifer didn't miss the click of the lock. They weren't going anywhere until Quistis came—if she was even here in the first place. He didn't trust anyone in this place; Galbadia Garden had too much of Deling's stamp on it.

"I don't like this," Zell said to the ceiling. "Why would Quistis be here? I saw her before I left Balamb."

Seifer wasn't so sure. "Maybe she's here to chew our asses."

Rinoa stood and stretched. "Who cares! We made it and we're alive."

Zell mumbled something and sat up. "Not if she's mad, we're not. If she's mad, we're toast."

"She doesn't know what happened with this mission yet," Rinoa said. "Right, Squall?"

Squall looked away from the window. "Of course she does." That silenced everyone; even Seifer stopped to stare. Squall continued, "News travels. When we left, two bombs had gone off in the city with at least twelve more set—there's no covering it up. She knew where we were going."

"But she doesn't know it was _us_." Rinoa said, as if she were talking to a child.

"Wait a second, you mean it was you—" Zell stood as fast he almost fell over.

Rinoa waved him off. "It was the last stand of the Timber Owls; now the whole world will know Deling's government failed. He and his stupid Senate wanted Timber so badly, well, now they can have it, bomb craters and all."

Zell stared. "But all those people?"

"We warned as many as we could."

Seifer had been trying to connect the dots all day. This helped but he still didn't get it. "You blew Timber up on purpose."

Rinoa stared at him, eyes cold. "So what? It was never going to be free, you know. Deling would kill every civilian there and have it empty and rotting and it would still be trapped."

"You lied to me." He was surprised it bothered him so much; outright lies, lies by omission—that had never been Rinoa's style. "Why the hell did you want me on this mission if the entire time you were going to keep me in the dark?"

Rinoa threw up her hands. "SeeD training, the best tactical mind in years—everyone told you last summer, all the faction leaders, how smart you were. You were someone who got the job done. Except you're totally not! I knew as soon as I saw you judging us that you would never get it. You'll always be better than some raggedy rebels."

Zell made a noise that Rinoa ignored, and Seifer locked his eyes to Zell's—scared and confused but familiar. Rinoa didn't care he was ignoring her, because she just kept going.

"?plys you come and you're a menace to the team. You're just plain mean. You insult everything we do and make us feel stupid, when you're the one who ran away. We stayed and you ran off to some stupid school that turned you into a wimp afraid of a little blood on your hands!" She had stalked around the sofa twice, and even Squall backed away when she came around again.

Seifer refused to look at her and Zell kept staring at him, barely blinking and his eyes faded to calm. Seifer wondered if it had meant anything that he had sacrificed Zell for her—for this cause—he suddenly knew nothing about. Strip and burn had never been something he had associated with the factions in Timber, but he was figuring out that losing their leader point-blank in the head had driven them down a path he had never dreamed they'd have the courage to take.

"Are you done whining at me?"

He didn't expect her to pick up one of the paperweights on the slim coffee table, a marble bust of some past headmaster and chunk it at him. It sailed past his head and bounced off the wall. It rolled to rest at his heels.

"No! I'm just getting started!" He stepped back when she stalked toward him. "You're a jerk and a bad SeeD and I didn't even want you on my team! My friends are dead because you're mean and stupid and you only care about your ego! It should've been yo—"

"Hey!" Zell broke the eye contact to stand up. "You're mad, but don't say shit you can't take back."

Rinoa paused and Seifer saw her waver, but he didn't need Zell to interrupt to know where she was going. "How did you get Cid to do it, Rinoa? Me as captain, a contract that goes against every policy we have, a team that breaks up an organized structure predetermined by Garden. That's all I want to know."

Rinoa squeezed her sweater in her hands. "I didn't want you at all. I was just fronting so you wouldn't suspect, but Cid, he—"

The hurts kept coming, lie after lie after lie. He hadn't realized he cared this much about a spoiled city girl turned renegade. _Surprise_, he thought. "Recognized you at the ball, knew who you were even with your name change and thought I could control you." Cid had miscalculated; Seifer had never controlled Rinoa. He wondered if anyone had. "That doesn't explain everything else; the contract that we're locked into with no escape except for us to accept suspensions to get out from under your crazy ass control."

Rinoa stared at the floor, silent as a statue and just as still.

"For fuck's sake! Just tell us!" Zell said.

Rinoa said, "Edea."

"Who?" Seifer's voice mixed with Zell's, equal parts confusion and incredulity. Seifer couldn't pin the name down, even though it sounded familiar.

"Why the hell is Cid going to care about a hermit sorceress, anyway?" Zell asked.

"Because I had information about Edea," Rinoa said. "And Edea is his wife."

The silence stretched on for a long time, broken only by steady ticks of the clock on the wall. Squall was the only one to look unsurprised. In his position as Rinoa's new best friend forever, he probably knew the most about this whole mess. Rinoa had dropped her secrets in the best vault in the world. Squall continued to say nothing; he stood by the window and watched.

"Anyway," Rinoa said. "Now that we're here and most of the mission is done, I'm through pretending that you're even an asset. You're dead weight and I'm cutting you loose."

"Hey, you can't do that!" Zell said.

"My contract says I can do whatever I want and I made it that way on purpose." Rinoa crossed her arms, and just as she did the door slid open behind Seifer, bearing a frazzled-looking Quistis.

"You're safe," she said. "I'm relieved." She paused as she entered and looked around the room. "What's the problem here?"

"Apparently I'm the problem," Seifer said, "I was just taking care of it." He shoved past Quistis as he went, out into the hall where it was quiet and Rinoa-free. The door let out a whoosh of air as it closed behind him.

His head pounded. He walked over to lean on the rail by the stairs and wrapped his palms around the bar and closed his eyes. He had gotten a lot of bad news in his life, but this day was winning some sort of award.

He heard the door open again and swore that if Rinoa came near him again, he would hit her and not give a shit what they did to him. Fired from his first mission. She deserved it.

Instead, he heard her shout, shrill and angry, but missed the words. He turned to see Zell halfway out the door.

"Well, fine, you go ahead and sue the hell out of Garden!" Zell said.

"He treats you like crap, Zell! You don't need him." Rinoa shouted it so loudly it echoed around the hall outside and Seifer heard Quistis saying something, but couldn't make it out—probably trying to talk her down. Diplomatic until the bitter end, but Quistis wasn't going to weasel word Rinoa down.

Zell stepped out and let the door close behind him. Seifer watched him before speaking, face flushed and fists clenched.

"Did you just—"

Zell sighed, his shoulders sloping down. "Yeah. _Fuck_, yeah I did."

He would never hear the end of this. "Better off staying with her. No suspensions."

Zell snorted and came to stand beside him. "Maybe. She should've thought of that before she fired you, because Garden made us partners first. Screw the contract. Sticking around her—no thanks." He drummed his fingers on the bar. "How come she lied to us? Did she?I mean, she probably meant all those things about you. But why leave me out of the loop?"

"Garden made us partners," Seifer said. "Squall will follow the contract to the letter, he's not teamed with anyone _and_ he's a gigantic pushover. He probably played right into her hands." He shook his head. "I did, once. It doesn't always look so bad."

"Until you get shot in the ass." Zell laughed at his look. "Except she did kind of have a point, you know. Such a meanie." He said it with a grin and didn't even make fun of Seifer's weak punch on his shoulder.

\------------

Seifer jarred awake to the sound of a muffled crash outside his door. His head pounded as he propped himself up on his elbows and his right eye felt like it might pop out and go rolling across the cheap, scratchy covers Galbadia Garden stuck on their visitor dorm beds. For a moment he struggled to separate reality from dreams filled with smoke and hands grabbing and pulling. Another crash from outside helped him along.

"Goddammit!"

Zell was definitely awake and cracking the sitting room into pieces.

"Calm down, you'll wake the entire dorm up." Quistis was pissed, nothing new to Seifer, except that it wasn't aimed at him. Quistis was too good at keeping her cool; something was up. "We don't want this to get out and back to Garden."

"How will it not get back to Garden? I'm sure as hell going to tell them!" Outside, something shattered. Seifer wondered why Quistis was letting Zell damage Garden property. He tossed back the covers and winced as his vision went white, the pain from sitting up too quickly flooding over. Whatever pain meds he had taken the last time Quistis had nudged him awake were long out of his system.

"We don't want anyone else to tell them but us." Her voice softened. "Zell, I know you're angry."

"I'm way past angry. First she lied to us, then she turned Squall against us—" Another crack sounded and plastic bounced off the tile floor. "They could've killed him by refusing to help me. They almost did, I'm not that fucking strong, Ifrit or no, I barely healed him by myself and I heard what the doctor said about it being a fucking _miracle_—"

"In his opinion Seifer will recover fully. I hope for your sake you're not going to try to be a perfectionist in all your field assignments like he tries to be. You saved his life."

"It's my fault." Even through the closed door, Seifer could hear the misery in Zell's voice. It wasn't often that he did; Zell wasn't the type to indulge in it, at least around him.

"That he's resting and healing to condescend to us another day? Absolutely. A concussion is hard to heal with Cura, much less Cure. After speaking with the doctor, I'm surprised you got him here lucid."

"Quistis?" Quistis didn't respond to Zell's quiet comment. Seifer turned his head and wondered if she had just spoken too low for him to hear, but Zell continued, "she said we would be better off with him dead. She said it and Squall didn't say anything except how tired he was."

"Squall is not known for his empathetic nature," Quistis said.

Seifer narrowed his eyes and then thought better of it as the pain spiked so he relaxed his expression. Zell's words from yesterday melded with the ones he was hearing now—what in the fuck was he saying?

"Now they've abandoned team."

"Well, to be fair to them—and yes, I know you don't feel inclined right now—Seifer was fired and you quit in protest. Rinoa still holds her twice-damned contract and can therefore move as she pleases."

"The fact she left in the first place, after everything..."

"I'm sure she had her reasons." Quistis could pull off lies with the best of them, but Seifer heard it in her voice. Zell wasn't getting the entire picture here. "Her leaving at least means she doesn't plan to follow through with her threat about suing Garden for now. I didn't come by to tell you so you could destroy your room," she said. "We're leaving on the afternoon train."

"So we're going to let them go?"

"We have no choice. Garden wants as many SeeD as possible safe. There's no telling what Deling might do after he's been so thoroughly embarrassed by an organization he claimed to have beaten just last year. Exterminated, I believe was the term he used in that press release."

"Seifer can't travel."

"He'll manage the short walk to the car Martine has loaned us for the trip. I have to go sign some transfer papers for the cadet coming out with us, so make sure he takes his pills when you check on him." Her voice carried as she walked closer to the door. "I do hope he was able to sleep through your outburst."

Zell mumbled an apology. Seifer gave up the idea of getting up—one, information was better if people were unaware he had it and his head was fucking killing him. Also, he couldn't see his pants anywhere in the room.

He laid back down on the lumpy mattress and tried to process what he had heard. He didn't know what to make of Zell's revelations, so he left them alone. It was easier to think about Rinoa slipping out of the scene, running away again, predictable as the seasons. He had been used. He had tried to come to grips with it throughout his medical exam and his dinner that he had barely touched and couldn't do it. It was proving just as hard today. He tried justifying it through Garden because at least they paid for the courtesy, but that didn't work, either. Rinoa just lied and to what end Seifer couldn't guess. If the mission was over—and Seifer had heard the reports pouring in about the remains of Timber, so logically it should have been—why take Squall and run away? He didn't have a clue what else she was planning, but he was glad he wasn't a part of it.

He dozed off, somewhere between sleep and awake, considering her motives and dreamed of dark eyes and being left behind until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes.

Zell squatted down so they were eye-to-eye. "Sorry. Four hour check-in. Quistis said you would probably need some painkillers." He shook the bottle in his hand and it was like gunfire. Seifer reached out and grabbed Zell's wrist.

"They're supposed to relieve it, not cause it, moron."

Zell didn't respond to the barb. "Feeling any better?"

"Only like my head has been run over my a train."

"Yeah, the medicine should help with that..."

The silence was awkward as Seifer took the pills and tossed three down dry. He wasn't going to risk sitting up again yet. Zell managed to look at anything but Seifer's eyes and for his part, Seifer didn't know what to say. He debated and tossed out of the idea of a bunch of measly small talk, because who the hell cared—yet he wondered.

"At least it's just a concussion," he said. "It could've been worse. I could've been left for dead."

Zell finally looked at him. "Yeah. Lucky we were all there to help you." He stood. "We're going home today. I was planning on getting lunch, but maybe I should see if they'd bring it here."

Seifer risked sitting up, inch by inch. "I'm not an invalid."

Zell snorted. "Who barely made it to bed last night? Who had to be helped to the room and tucked in and I'm pretty sure I told you a cute bedtime sto—"

Seifer threw the plastic clock on the side table at Zell's head, but missed by feet as Zell ducked away. His world tilted a little as he went lopsided into the wall. He avoided actually hitting his head, his shoulder taking the brunt of it, but his stomach roiled in protest.

Zell reached out a hand to help, but just as quickly pulled back. "You should stay here and get well."

"I'm fine, I've had concussions before."

"Not from gaping head wounds." Zell's harried look made him pause. "Dude, I am pretty sure I saw your brains leaking out. This isn't a regular concussion."

"Would it help if I promised to be really, really careful, Mom?"

Zell rolled his eyes. "Fine, okay, but you're taking the blame if Quistis catches us."

"I can handle Quistis," Seifer said. "Now where the hell are my pants?"

\------------

Seifer hadn't taken the time to pay attention to Galbadia Garden yesterday; he had been pissed and too busy ignoring the fact he was still injured to waste any concentration on comparing the Garden he was in with the one that he knew. By the time they had left their room and Zell had took him down a level and around two corners, Seifer was hopelessly lost. Galbadia bustled with cadets, both SeeD and military, many of whom stared openly.

While he had been sleeping, Zell had apparently been exploring, which didn't surprise him. Balamb Garden might have had the SeeD exam, but they didn't have the bodies or the space Galbadia boasted. He and Zell moved through a crowd that made Seifer feel even dizzier. They finally made it to the cafeteria which surged with the lunch rush as they walked in.

Zell led him to a table just off the entrance, out of the way of the surging students, and pulled a chair out. "Sit."

Seifer raised a brow. "The food is that way."

"I know. I'll get it." He stared as Seifer didn't make a move and finally reached out and pulled him in by the lapel of his jacket. "Oh, for fuck's sake. You look like death, dude, just put your ass in the chair and let me get you something to eat or I'll report you to Quistis myself."

"I know how to get my own food, Dincht."

"You also know how to be dumb and how to lie about your health!"

Seifer took the chair. "You stole that line from Quistis."

"Doesn't make it any less true. So keep being a bastard or I'll bring you back spinach and and grits." When Seifer opened his mouth to reply, he glared. "Mixed together."

The truth was, Zell had a point, and the headache that was inching up didn't care to continue the banter. "Remember to get some water."

"Already on it!" Zell vanished back into the people streaming past and Seifer wondered just how he was planning to get the food back through the crowd. He didn't doubt their part of the cafeteria was abandoned for a reason.

Galbadia Garden was different than Seifer had expected. The military cadets were everywhere, which wasn't a surprise, but he didn't get a bad feel from the place, except from the few people who had stared with open hostility and didn't make a secret of it. Surprisingly, they had been regular students by their uniforms. Seifer couldn't explain the condescension and outright hatred Galbadia students had for Balamb. Maybe it was jealousy, fueled by the lack of the SeeD exam, or something Seifer wasn't aware of. He didn't play politics between the two Gardens and he wasn't going to start now.

"I've got some coin for that deep thought you're having."

Seifer looked up to see Irvine Kinneas pulling out the chair opposite to him. He swung it around to straddle it. If he had been decked out in the outfit from yesterday, it would've completed the picture of a chocobo rancher, but this time his cadet uniform was in place. The lackadaisical attitude was still front and center.

"None of your business."

"Quistis told me you weren't the friendly type. Funny you're here having lunch with a?friend." Irvine draped his arms over the low chair back.

"He's a team member."

"So I'm told. Your Garden is into teamwork, teamwork, teamwork—like our cheerleaders."

Seifer blinked. "You have cheerleaders?"

"Not officially, no, but I'm not going to argue if some ladies want to dress in matching skirts and cheer the team on. More entertaining than the game."

"Classy."

"I try." Irvine ignored the cool tone Seifer used and continued, "Quistis tells me I have my very own partner waiting back at Galbadia. Says we should be a good match. Selphie Tilmitt—you know her?"

Seifer couldn't believe that Quistis was going to stick Selphie with this guy. Then again, his slow drawl and penchant for useless conversation was probably right up her alley. They deserved each other. "Invest in painkillers."

"Speaking of team members, here's yours." Irvine's gaze had ticked up, but Seifer didn't turn. "Funny he's a SeeD. I didn't think they licensed people that awkward."

Seifer finally heard Zell come up behind him, mumbling to himself as he deposited two trays on the table. Seifer pinned Irvine's gaze through the steam rising from some of the food. "Feel free to leave now."

Zell paused as he sat a bottle of water in from of Seifer and glanced back and forth between them. "He could stay..."

"I don't feel like company." Seifer stared and Irvine returned the gaze until a smirk cracked his blank expression and he stood.

"I don't want to interrupt your get-together. I've got more papers to sign, as it is. Be seeing you this afternoon." He stood and flipped his chair back to its place as he left, the tension in the air settling as Seifer relaxed.

"That was way rude." Zell sat down and pushed Seifer's tray toward him. "It wouldn't kill you to be a little nicer?"

"I'm all out of nice."

"You never even _had_ it," Zell said, mouth full of mashed potatoes. "What's wrong with you? You weren't angry when I left." He paused from his lunch. "You'll get better soon." He nodded toward Seifer's tray. "Food. Eat and you'll feel better."

Seifer watched Zell eat like he hadn't touched food for days instead of just hours. Seifer picked up a spoon and shoved at the blob on his tray that he guessed was a casserole. The headache that had been poking at the edges had come back in full force, like rocks were being dropped on his brain every time his heart beat?out of fucking nowhere. "You like that guy?"

Zell chewed, thoughtful. "Yesterday when he was showing me around he was an asshole about transferring. He kept hitting on Quistis too, and that's just—that's just _gross_, who does that to their director, right?" He shrugged. "He's snobby, like he thinks Balamb isn't good enough for him. You know he's pissed because our library closes? Here it's open all night. Fucking crazy."

"Funny, I remember giving you plenty of detention for sneaking into the library after hours," Seifer said.

Zell grinned. "Yeah, but not for studying."

"Comics aren't much better."

"Dude, don't even start, you read books about politics of the Shumi." Zell stole a cherry tomato off Seifer's tray. "You need to eat more."

"I might if you don't steal it all." Truth was, Zell had barely taken anything and Seifer's tray was over half full. Nothing appealed except for the potatoes, bland enough that he hadn't noticed them going down. "That book was in my pack. Back in Timber."

Zell's brow dipped. "Just stuff. We can replace it."

In the end it wasn't the stuff that worried him, but the secrets and questions with no answers. The trouble was he would never get those answers now, not with Watts and Zone probably dead and Rinoa out in the world somewhere.

"The whole thing was a clusterfuck," he said. He pushed back his chair. He ignored the edges of white in his vision and walked around the table and out of the cafeteria, toward the first direction that didn't have hundreds of fucking eyes staring at him. He followed the polished white tile of the hall until there was no one walking by him or lounging on benches on in open doors, no cadets in their uniforms of a hostile Garden, the last place he would have taken a team. Anywhere would have been better. Here he couldn't blend and fuck Rinoa for making him want to. Fuck her.

Zell caught up with him without saying a word, his shoes squeaking on the floor as he slowed, a few steps behind. He walked with Seifer until the white-hot pain behind his eyes became too much, until the floor started to tilt just enough to let Seifer know he was losing the fight.

_No healing gone wrong here; just enough to never let me forget. He stopped and squeezed his eyes shut. Everything else, though. Fuck you, Rinoa Heartilly, and your perfect storm of rebellion._

"Maybe we should go back to the dorm."

"I'm fine."

"That's not what I meant." Zell touched him once, a hand on his shoulder as he pushed Seifer to the wall so he could lean. "She was your friend and it sucks. You don't have to pretend to be super tough by having half of a nervous breakdown in public."

Seifer reached into his coat pocket and brought out the pills, downed three of them dry and ignored Zell's wince. "Were we? Friends?"

Zell stayed silent.

"I don't know where we are."

It was enough to get them moving, straight ahead as they passed through hallway after hallway with doors to empty classrooms, a benefit of stumbling into a school during the weekend. It was a high-tech ghost town, flourescent lights dancing to the angry beat of Seifer's pulse as they walked.

"Listen, about Squall—"

That was better; Zell talking was an excellent distraction. "Should I care about Squall at this point?"

He saw Zell bite back a comment, his mouth snapping shut as they headed through another door. People were starting to show up, students on benches or talking one-on-one, the shining buttons on their too-neat uniforms catching the lights. Zell squeaked on the tile as he walked, hands jammed in his pockets.

"You should when I have news about him. I think I might have some idea why he sided with Rinoa."

"Well, it should be good for a distraction, at the least."

Zell stopped and swung to face him. "Why are you so goddamn stubborn? You think news is only worthy if you hear it first?"

Seifer hated that Zell's movements startled him enough that he backed away. "If you heard it from Rinoa, you can't trust it."

"But I didn't. I heard it from Squall. Did you know he had a sister?"

Seifer stared.

Zell smirked. "Guess not. I saw Rinoa say something to Squall last night at dinner. I didn't hear it, but Squall said that he hoped his sister would be easy to find and that part I know I heard."

This whole mission had been a mystery in reverse. Seifer wasn't surprised anymore. "Squall has a sister that Rinoa knows?"

Zell shrugged and picked up their walk again. He twined his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. "It makes sense. If Rinoa had information Squall wanted?but really? Squall came to Garden when he was really young. How would he even remember a sister?"

He was too tired to try to figure it out. More pointedly, he couldn't dredge up the energy to care about Squall's motivations. The door ahead of them stood open, not sliding because so many people were passing through. Beyond the crowd, Seifer saw the atrium, which meant they had made a full circle and more of the entire Garden. The medicine was helping, but the lights still bugged him, sending white spots over his eyes. He blinked through them as Zell mentioned something about Irvine.

"What?"

Zell glanced over at him. "I was saying that Irvine gives me a weird vibe. I don't know what it is, but he creeps me out. We don't have to pal around with him—he's Selphie's partner." Off the wall subject change: consistent Zell. Seifer lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the pain in. When he opened them he stopped dead in the hallway. Zell slowed, although he turned around with his back to the atrium door and stared. "Feeling crappy? We're almost back, you chose the long way so don't bitch at me." His back was to the crowd flowing into the hallway, a mass of bodies pressed close. There were so many faces and his vision was already fucked up, anyway, but...

"Stop," Seifer said.

Zell slid his feet back and grinned. "Well, you did."

The crowd grew thicker, but Seifer hadn't imagined them at all. He wouldn't forget that coward's face—_ever_—and as he stared to make sure, Zell frowned and turned around. "What's wrong, you look like you've seen—hey!" Bile rose in Seifer's throat as he hooked his arm around Zell's torso and tugged him across the hall through the open doorway of a darkened classroom. The podium lights were lit as Seifer pulled Zell in and pressed them both against the wall, far enough away from the risk of the open doorway.

"You fucker! The lightswitch is digging into my spine, what the hell is wrong with you?" Zell struggled under the pin Seifer had on him.

Seifer glared down, too busy swallowing vomit to speak. He wrapped his palm around Zell's neck, moved back and twisted him toward the door. It was perfect timing. Seifer felt Zell tense and jerked him back just as Deling and Donovan walked by the classroom. The man with them had to be Martine, but Seifer wasn't going to try for introductions any time soon.

Back under him, Zell was wide-eyed and silent. Seifer looked down on him and breathed through the nausea the quickness had caused. "Your spine will recover."

Zell actually trembled and his skin under Seifer's fingers was hot and wet with sweat. "Fuck."

"That was my first thought, too."

"Why the hell are they here after Timber's been bombed all to hell??" Zell closed his eyes and let his head fall to rest on the wall, his hair soft on the back of Seifer's hand. "I feel like I could barf."

"That makes two of us." Seifer narrowed his eyes. "What happened in the alley?" Zell didn't respond immediately, but the speed of his heartbeat against Seifer's chest gave it all away.

"Fuck you," Zell said. "You did that to me, you did it on purpose, I'm not going to spill my guts like you deserve to know."

Seifer knew Zell was right. He had chosen the wrong person. He could argue he had chosen the person more likely to survive. It was a weak excuse, because that hadn't been his intention. He hadn't cared that Zell might die. Rinoa had. Rinoa had cared and Squall had cared, so why the fuck was he so angry that in the end, his life had become forfeit to them, Rinoa especially? He had sacrificed the only person who cared in favor of the person who didn't?and for what? A mission he was never supposed to know about; a mission he was never supposed to be on. It was a fucked up, murderous triangle Rinoa had tangled them in. What a bitch.

"Tell me, anyway."

Zell glared at him. His body felt like a few hundred summer days all packed into one person with an extra helping of fear making it worse. Seifer didn't blame him.

"They're using illegal magic."

"The Galbadian army only uses low-level elemental spells. They don't junction." It was rote, the same thing taught in history classes̬they hadn't touched GF in over a decade. SeeD was the last along with the various rogues looking for a quick power fix, addicted to Float or some other mind-altering spell that sent a person sky-high after using it personally for any long period. Seifer thought back to the spell in the library—apparently it hadn't been one-off.

"You're wrong and I would know, okay? I don't know what the hell it was." Zell closed his eyes. "The grunts hit me with it once. You saw me on the train. The second time, someone Shelled me." Zell wiggled under him. "Don't look at me like that. Someone fucking Shelled me and if they hadn't I would be dead."

"Squall was left behind," Seifer said.

"Squall didn't have any Shell. I fucking checked, okay? He got really pissy when he felt me poking around with Ifrit, but he didn't have it."

"So someone saved you."

"Yeah, and whoever it was pissed Donovan off. It was like he knew who was doing it. He pulled out a gun and started shooting all his people. Fuck." Zell slammed his head back against the wall, once, twice. "He just shot them all in the head and he was yelling something and I'm so sorry I didn't stick around to get shot, too, just so you could have a good story!" He was lying—again#8212;and it was all over his face. Seifer had seen the expression too many times in the past two days. The lie wrote itself across Zell's face in the downward curve of his mouth, the way his eyelids flickered, ice-blue flashes.

"That's not why I asked, asshole, and you know it."

"Do I?" Zell narrowed his eyes. "Why do you care? Want to rub my face in how I trusted you and you tried to kill me? Well, fine. Go ahead." He raised his face and Seifer watched his jaw clench, like he was preparing for a blow. The last time they had been this close Zell had punched him in the face and caught him as he fell. Zell confused the hell out of him.

"They're probably gone." Seifer stepped away, pulled his hands away from Zell's too-hot skin, the warmth like an accusation, a slap in the face. There was no cooling, just the heat from a man that should be dead but wasn't because he had personally fucked everything up. His stomach cramped and he couldn't decide whether he felt sick because of the concusion or sick from regret. It was another failure that Seifer suddenly didn't want to deal with. "We should go back to the dorm and stay there, just in case. Have you told Quistis?"

"About Donovan? Hell no. You want me to kill my career or something?" He rubbed his neck. "Just...don't tell her. It's not like we don't know he's here. We leave in six hours. It's not a big deal."

The problem was that it was a big deal, but Seifer couldn't let on that he knew. There was no reason for the lies Zell had been feeding him since yesterday, but yet they kept coming. They watched each other. Seifer wondered at how they could have been so close for minutes but miles and miles apart from where Zell would have shared the truth with him. It burned him up that it was his fault. Him in a partnership was like the universe playing the biggest practical joke imaginable.

Zell turned away without a word, pausing before passing the threshold to check the way Donovan had walked. He left Seifer alone without looking back, in the shadows of the empty room.

\------------

Seifer stayed in the classroom in one of the chairs until his stomach stopped churning, then made his way back to the dorm. Everything around him seemed like it was moving in slow motion. He didn't mind the drugs, but the side-effects were a bitch. He kept an eye out for Deling or Donovan, but instead of seeing either of them, he ran into Quistis coming out of his room and he wasn't sure which was worse.

"There are you. Why are you wandering around?"

"Lunch," he said. Quistis was disheveled, her hair coming out of its twist to brush over her shoulders. "You look less possessed than normal."

"You should be less possessed, as well. Deling is here, so get in your room and stay there."

"He doesn't know who we are, why bother?"

"The next thing you say should be, 'yes, ma'am' right before you walk into the room and lock it." She raised her hand when Seifer went to speak. "If you do anything else, I will fine you for your entire month's pay. Just try me, Seifer."

Seifer chose silence; repairing Hyperion would probably take all of it. Quistis stalked away, her back a hard, straight line while Seifer wandered in the room, making sure to lock the door behind him. He pulled his pills from his pocket and downed another just in case the previous three had made any plans to wear off.

The door to the other bedroom was open, and Zell was kicked back on the floor, a newspaper hiding his body above the waist. He didn't move as Seifer came to lean against his doorway. "Any news?"

Zell lowered the paper. "You want to hear the bad news or the really bad news?"

"Go with the really bad news."

"Over 200 people died yesterday."

Seifer had expected as much, but it still stung. _Warned as many as she could_. That was a slim number; they couldn't risk telling someone not vetted, couldn't risk it getting back to the military. Once more, Seifer had underestimated her, this time in how much the loss last summer had changed Rinoa for the worst. Innocent people, innocent families were all gone, thanks to her plan that Seifer couldn't understand.

"Yeah, that's how I felt, too," Zell said. "The bad news is they're blaming Timber."

Zell could've said anything else and surprised him less. "Timber? What the hell?"

Zell sat up and spread the paper across the floor. The front was dominated by a picture of the Timber skyline, blazing at twilight, the color bold and bright. Timber splashed across the front page with the striking red fire, dead brown and a foreboding gray. There more color in one photo of Timber destroyed than there had been color in the city itself. The headline gave him chills.

STORED AMMUNITION IGNITES—POPULATION PANIC OVER ASSUMED ATTACK

"What fuckers," Seifer said. "No one is going to buy it."

"There are no editorals saying anything different," Zell said. "Not that I expected them."

"The press is wrapped up in a pretty package and tucked right into Deling's pocket. No newspaper in the world will disagree now." Seifer stared at the paper and watched Zell worry the corners with his fingers. What was the purpose of blaming Timber? Seifer didn't know how Squall had set up the bombs, but surely it hadn't been close together. As a smokescreen it was a terrible idea to blame what would obviously come out as a premeditated bombing on Timber citizens. _Is this what you wanted, Rinoa_? he wondered. _If you couldn't have Timber and her people, no one could?_

"They could have blamed it on the rebels. Or Trabia?"

"They're lying on purpose," Seifer said, figuring it out. "Mocking the dead to stick it to the Owls. Rinoa wanted credit for this and they're not giving it to her."

Zell stretched back out on the floor. "I'm sorry to say it, but she's fucking crazy. Squall, too, going along with her plan."

"You're saying you wouldn't have." It was pretty to think of being high and mighty, but Rinoa _had_ probably pulled the contract out on Squall, too, unless there was credence behind the long-lost sister angle. Birth records—why of all things, did birth records matter? _He_ had been crazy to believe a damned word she said.

"No! Dude, those were innocent people that died that didn't have to," Zell said. "Because Garden—Cid, even—let Rinoa blackmail him. I would've taken the suspension."

"Probably why she didn't ask you," Seifer said. He had told Rinoa enough about Zell. Cid had almost trapped her, giving her Zell and Seifer both. Squall had been her last hope. What a happy accident for them.

Behind him, the door to the common room beeped once as a keycard passed and opened to reveal Quistis and Irvine. For the first time, Irvine looked stormy, his uniform eschew, and to Seifer's surprise, a bandage across his brow and a bruise blooming on his cheek.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Zell asked, coming to stand beside Seifer.

Quistis waved off the question. "We're leaving before Martine gets out of the infirmary."

Zell choked and said, "Martine? You got—you got in a fight with your _headmaster_?"

Irvine shrugged and sat down in one of the chairs at the table in the room. "Had it coming for a long time."

"That's no excuse!" Quistis threw up her hands. "Of course you had to wait until after you were under transfer to do it, so now Balamb Garden is liable if Martine wants to press the issue. No, I don't care what he said—you're a cadet in a military academy, you are trained to deal with asshole superiors."

"All that training will pay off under Quistis," Seifer offered. "Just watch."

Quistis whirled on him. "Seifer Almasy—you're lucky I don't report you to Cid for _explusion_ after what you did to Zell on mission, so shut your mouth. Team members are not personal weapons and I'd thank you to remember it."

Irvine snorted and Seifer turned his head to look down at Zell, but Zell just glared at him. "Rinoa told her, not me! Geez, I like how even if I do something right you act like I've stomped on your honor."

"If either of you start a fight now, I will leave you here for Deling." Quistis moved around the room, straightening all the things Seifer guessed Zell had messed up. "Get whatever you brought with you; don't leave any personal items or trash. Irvine, when's the best time for us to leave?"

"Should it be busy or quiet?"

"Busy would be better," Zell said. "That way we could get lost in the crowd."

"You will never get lost in any crowd," Irvine provided. "You didn't arrive here inconspicuously, if you take my meaning."

Quistis shut down Zell's retort. "I didn't ask you, Zell. Stop talking and get ready! Now!"

Seifer was startled to be tugged back into Zell's room by his bicep, the door sliding shut inches from his face.

"Dude, please tell me those drugs aren't making you stupid," Zell whispered as soon as the door closed. They were draped in the dark; Zell's shades were pulled shut to the afternoon sun. "Can you not see Quistis is freaking out?"

"Irvine got into a fistfight with the headmaster, or did you miss that part?"

"But she's running away," Zell said. "_Quistis_ is running away."

Seifer paused. His eyes adjusted to the dim and Zell's hand was tight on his arm. Seifer cycled through what he now knew Quistis was aware of: the alley, Seifer's decision and Donovan, too, since Rinoa had run her mouth. "Well, genius, what do you think she's worried about?"

Zell's grip loosened. "I don't know!"

"I've spent most of my time here unconscious. How am I supposed to have the answers? And what do you want me to do about it if I did?" Seifer pulled away. "Listen, for all we know Martine could use Irvine attacking him as an impetus for cutting ties with Balamb because Irvine is a transfer. They could lock us down here as an example. It's not like they haven't wanted the chance to discredit Balamb since Trabia split. Who the hell knows what any of this means to the upper echelon back home."

Zell chewed on his lip and looked at the ground. "It feels wrong. Something feels off."

"This whole damn situation feels off." Under his feet, the remains of the newspaper crinkled, and the bright red from the fire in the photo of Timber faded to look more like blood in the light. "The best thing for us to do is do what she says. Don't question her."

"But mocking her is okay, right? It's always okay to kick someone when they're down."

Seifer pressed the button to open the door to the room. "Doesn't everyone needs a little adversity? Otherwise things get too stale. Quistis is no different."

He stepped out of the room into the bright of the commons in time to see Quistis bagging up their trash. "Hurry up, both of you," she said. "Irvine says he can take us out the service entrance."

"What about our car?"

Quistis stilled and shoved her hair back; her clip was hanging lopsided. "There isn't one anymore. We walk and hope they don't come after us." She headed back into Seifer's room.

Seifer looked over his shoulder at Zell, who frowned back. Seifer turned back in time to see Quistis dart out and toss Hyperion on the table. He bit back a comment, because hell, what did it matter if people touched her when she was already broken? Although hidden by his holster, the chunk was missing and Seifer could still see it, like a challenge.

_Everyone needs a little adversity_, he thought again, as he reached out for his holster with tentative, shaking hands.


End file.
